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October 20, 2008



It is while reading accounts like yours that I have the most intense daydreams about our happy little work/live commune out in the woods, where our kids are schooled and taken care of perfectly by people who understand and love them, where everyone shares all of the burdens, and there are enough of us that no one is every exhausted. This works because families with only "typical" children are included. Because we're noble that way.

Thanks, as always, for opening this window.

Rooting for your trio,



Glad to hear the update. I've been wondering how it was going....My nephew is just 2 years behind (3 yo) so I'm watching how it's all working for you. My brother said just the same as you the other day...we have to meet him where he is and keep him interested in people. So...I get it. Hang in there and keep us posted!


Susan, This post is so dead on. Finally someone has the guts to say what inclusion in most of our schools actually is. Not what it is meant or intended to be, but what it is. It is, in fact, a compromise.

I have so much anxiety about the road ahead, much of which I haven't been able to articulate yet. Sometimes I think all the forces of "almost" and "good enough" will be coming together in the next few years to edge that compromise right into the "giving up" column.

We have so many kids that need so much more than they are getting. The schools are stretched thin, the economy is in the red, how do we fix this?

(Oh god, I'm sorry. It would be more helpful to leave an uplifting comment, yes?)


Oh, I'm sorry that it's so trying. Some days I feel like I must hae been a cowrd for pulling Nik from school; then I read things like this and feel better b/c you are so right —no one has the right tools for meeting him where he is and working with how he is. I get sick and tired of those who wold say my child deserves less b/c of his differences.

Sending you hugs and good wishes for fortitude and breakthroughs (w/school). xoxo

drama mama

Yes, yes, the *noblesse oblige* attitude - you nailed it! That's how I felt when M was in Big Public School, and that's how the majority of my friends with special needs children feel.

Change. I'm waiting for it.

In the meantime, the game plan sounds good.

Hunker. Make soup. Hold hands.

Ellen G.

Re: How long will it last?

That's the amazing thing about kids today, at least the ones I see at my daughter's school. Back in my day, we were never encouraged to interact with kids who were different. Now it's all about community and helping others and they embrace it. Just the other day, I got a note from her teacher explaining that she missed music class because was helping one of the incusion kids in her class "settle". Chose to do this on her down, because she knew she could help him. As her parent, I'm awed by her sense of compasion, and learn a lot from her every day. I hope Issac has buddies like that all his life.

Special Needs Mama

I wish I could be there, sitting next to him, every day, and helping him and all of you along. It feels so lonely when things are hard. I hope you remember you are not alone.


just a little glimmer of hope.... wanted to tell you that Jake's classmates and school mates are remarkably kind. There are kids in the "typical" classrooms that come to sit with Jake at lunch--not all the time, but sometimes, by choice. Each class sits together at lunch, so to move to another table you must ask permission, so it's sort of a big deal, and they still do it... and my kid doesn't even talk. There will be kind children and cruel, but I try to believe that there are good parents out there raising children to be kind. I know that is one of the big things I am trying to teach Lucy. Not *be nice*, but **be kind**. Love to you.

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