Sketchbook

I'm too sleepy to turn this into anything more than a fragment of what's on my mind tonight, but here it is: Isaac's first-ever representational drawing, I believe. Yep, that's me, with the big potato head. It's quite true to life, actually, though my eyes are just a tad greener.

This drawing didn't just spring from the font of Isaac's inspiration, but that makes it no less sweet. Well, bittersweet. I'll explain. Any day now, we'll hear about his kindergarten placement. I've written about our angsty angst in several places--no need to repeat. But one of the things our intervention team has been focused on lately is to prepare him for the sort of normal things that kindergartners do: draw pictures and sign them, cut with scissors, paint. I obsess about that. About the start of school, and the increased expectations and social pressure and structure, and the inevitable (good, scary) transition to growing up. Because it means we're going to have to pick our battles: where we're willing to diverge, where we'll have to work harder if we want to swim in the mainstream.

So this drawing? It represents me, but it also evokes this odd tension: the desire to help Isaac participate in more of the norms of childhood, mixed with the inevitable loss of spontaneity when we have to think about every new skill so deliberately. Like any kid, Isaac will always have his preferences, his talents and his blind spots. But I don't want to fuss with the music of his personality. It's like Bach and Monk all rolled together: mathematical, precise, but also prone to riffs and digressions that take us to places that seem fresh and wild and unexpected and beautiful.

Comments

[Jordan]

This is so well said, Susan. I know that I too emphasize school readiness skills more in my work when a child is preparing to head off to a more formal educational program. But - and I'm sure this will surprise no one - I also caution the team that we cannot allow that focus to take the place of opportunities for socialization with peers. The skills piece will only take a child so far, as much as we want them to fit in in that way, if they are not yet comfortable socially. Having said that, I love Isaac's drawing and look forward to seeing more of its kind! It's a real milestone - good for him!!

[Emily]

Aw. Good picture. And we know exactly what you mean. How many families celebrate (sometimes daily) their six-year-old's ability to "pump" while swinging, all on their own? Well, we do. In our case, the whole point is to facilitate association with peers. How can ya get around on a playground if you don't know how to swing?

Look at it this way: All parents have to teach their kids things. We just have a different set of things to target. Isaac's obviously got his own paths of sponteneity...I don't know any kids who've single-handedly invented the "initial consonant" game. That's Isaac's, and Isaac's alone. Sure, it's not related to Kindergarten readiness, but it's pretty damned cool anyway.

[cry it out]

This is well said -- you draw a lovely picture yourself. (We're pulling for your school this week and next!)

[Niksmom]

I'm on tenterhooks waiting to hear about school! (Duh, like you and J aren't??)

I think about thsi sort of stuff often as I am spending days with Nik at home. Should I be getting him ready for (fill in the blank)? At this point, I am following his lead. Maybe you can incorporate some school-related skills learning with some of his special interests? Cutting out pictures of elevators and pasting them into a high-rise?? (I'm not being snarky, I swear!!) Or drawing pictures of cars; cutting out pics of cars and pasting them on a race track...etc. That way it's not so much "working on XYZ skill" as much as helping Isaac find NEW ways in which he can explore his interests. Just a thought...

BTW, I kind like the potato-hed look! ;-) xo

[kyra]

i love that picture! such a likeness!

i have the same sort of thoughts about my days with fluffy at home about the areas that need much more work and attention and how to get there without taking the magic out of his music, as you say.