The Kindergarten Dance, Part IV

J. and I went to see another school yesterday.  To recap, we're looking at both private and public schools so we can adequately torture ourselves understand the range of available options. Here's the scoreboard, for those of you who enjoy a certain ESPN-esque view of the world:

1. Private school: Seen together.  Great school, but didn't--ahem--seem hugely prepared for special needs kids.
2. Private school: Seen alone by Susan. Great school.  [Wistful sigh].
3. Public school: Seen alone by Susan. A real up-and-comer. Impressive. A definite possibility.
4. Public school: Seen alone by J.  Very desirable, very together. Excellent choice, if a bit far. 
5. Public school: Seen together yesterday.  Seems okay, but huge.  Way too far. Definite no.

It's funny--I was struck by how quick and how visceral my reaction was yesterday as I walked down that long echoey hallway and tried to imagine the place through the eyes of a brand-new kindergartner.  All of a sudden, I felt very scared and very overwhelmed--by the size, both of the halls and of the classrooms, and by the notion that even with fulltime support, it seemed like the kind of place a kid could quietly slip out of in a vulnerable moment.  And that feeling was enough to make me tug on J's hand and quietly suggest we leave.  He wisely suggested that if one of us has a really strong reaction and the other is neutral we should just bag it and go home...no benefit to trying to like something, right?

At this point, it's definitely public school for us: they understand special needs, and--hello!--it's free.  While the private schools are great, they're just not set up for this, and we'd have to hire a fulltime aide, which is financially impossible.

We have a couple more to go.  Good thing, because I have just about a couple of nerve-endings left.  And then we fill out our application, cross our fingers, and hope for the best.

Comments

[kyra]

i'm totally with you on listening to your gut! good for you for leaving!

here's to finding the perfect place. i know you will.

[Niksmom]

You absolutely have to trust your gut when it gives you such strong, clear messages. Good for you and J. I hope you find the right fit without losing the rest of those nerve endings! LOL

[Special Needs Mama]

Thank you so much for the updates. I've been wondering. I know it will work out. Truly.

[Cassie]

Hi Susan,
Have you checked out ***? I worked there for 5 years and couldn't recommend it more highly. I'm sure you have already been doing your research, but I thought I'd give that plug. Talk to me if you want more help - I know the SFUSD inclusion programs pretty well.
Happy Hanukkah, btw!

Cassie