Consider the tantrum. It's a universal experience for parents of young children. It gathers like a storm: the air turns heavy and wet, you feel the pressure build and build, and at some impossible-to-predict point the clouds open and all hell breaks loose. Tonight's, I have to say with a measure of awe, was truly spectacular. The contributing factors: a long, active day spent with family, lots of sun and swimming, unfamiliar surroundings, not much downtime, irregular meals. The catalyst: bedtime, or rather, the difference of opinion about when it should occur (our proffered 8:30, rather than, say, the eventual, exhausted 12:45). The last straw: refusal to allow any more Sesame Street. The duration: really, really, really long. The volume? Ask the neighbors. I'm sure they're still up.
So here's my question, since we're on the subject of perspective lately. Is a "spectrum tantrum" really any different, objectively speaking, from a typical kid tantrum? There is the same yelling, insistence, screeching and tears, the same throwing of objects, the same wracking sobs that subside, eventually, eventually, into sleep. Maybe they are identical, the only difference being that age and duration and frequency play a part in what's considered (here it comes again, that word) "normal."
But here's the difference for me. I feel, and I hazard a guess that J. does too, that our tantrums come with subtitles. We experience them firsthand, and we simultaneously watch them play in a film loop inside our heads (J.'s revelation tonight: "Wow--his "R"s are really getting good!" Mine: pronouns generally still confused, mitigated somewhat by the gorgeous sentence "Daddy, please move your hand!!!"
And then, when it finally, suddenly stops, come the sports highlights: "Coach, what did you think of your team's performance in the first half? What will you do to play better next time?" And the same dull interviews with the athletes, and the tallying up of runs, hits and errors, until the credits roll and we all, finally, fall into fitful sleep.
Another great post Susan. You really capture it. To some extent, I think the difference between a typical tantrum and a spectrum tantrum is degrees--I feel like my son (though he is getting better at it...) tantrums harder and longer and more aggressively than his "typical" cohorts. Also, another kid might shrug his shoulders and say, oh well, when there's no more pancakes for breakfast, whereas my son will carry on for two hours, completely unable to change gears.
Posted by: kristen | August 13, 2007 at 06:34 AM
I think, too, another difference is exactly as you have captured with great humor ---the parent attitude and perspective. I think many "typical" parents don't come nearly as close in having to analyze and dissect in an effort to (a) redirect or (b) mitigate a repeat. Sigh...
Posted by: Niksmom | August 13, 2007 at 02:16 PM
You know why you are awesome?Bcoz no matter what happens you can look at it thru "humor glasses" and i admire that about you..i need to learn that!! I so miss you guys and Isaac, looking forward to seeing him soon!
Posted by: Beata | August 14, 2007 at 07:41 PM
I agree with beata -- new here from 7x7, and I'm impressed. This is a lovely, funny post.
Mike
Posted by: cryitout | August 15, 2007 at 10:32 AM
No difference, really. Our kids just seem to be "too old" doing it.
Glad you've kept your sense of humor. It's crucial.
Posted by: drama mama | August 15, 2007 at 08:33 PM