Another Post About Searching for Perspective

This past week I've been a blogging deadbeat. All sorts of things happening, can't figure out what to say about it, want to be cogent and offer perspective, but it's not always easy from the eye of the storm. And it's been a little stormy around here lately. As usual (and we are lucky for this), a lot of happy and harder stuff all mooshed up together. On the good side: after many stops and starts, Isaac is now quite close to functionally potty trained. It's really adorable to see how proud he is, too. (In deference to his dignity, I'll spare you the earthier and cuter details). Today, he actually let the doctor examine him--imagine that. And he's learned how to use the computer mouse, which is probably a mixed blessing, but for hand-eye coordination you can't beat it. And the lullaby thing is going well, which has made bedtime a little easier. But boy, the moods on that kid. He is really resistant to therapy lately, and we can't figure out whether it's him...or the therapy. And did I mention the tantrums? Every. Little. Thing. In deference to my better nature, I am trying to convince myself (and J.) that it's just four-year-old stuff, and stop with the is-it-or-isn't-it game that we used to play so relentlessly. Is it a typical kid tantrum, or an autistic spectrum tantrum? Try saying that three times fast.

My big revelation of the past week: we are in a new phase. We are past the initial shock, past the initial crisis period, and well into daily life, with all its bruises and little victories. But sometimes it all comes rushing in, and it's hard to sort out how and what to feel. And that's the eternal kicker, isn't it? What is his, and what is ours, and where it goes, and what it means. My short-term plan for this, all kidding aside, is to organize my closets and maybe even have a garage sale. It won't answer any of my questions, but sorting something out, however trivial, always makes me feel better.

Comments

[kristen]

Susan, I wrote this big long comment about how what you are going through now is very similar to what GP went through at Isaac's age, but in the end, I realized that the only thing I was trying to say was, we've been there and I still don't know the answers. I do, however, know that it will change again because it does keep changing all the time and sometimes it even gets better.

Hang in there. The potty training is a huge thing—hooray for Isaac and hooray for you! The other stuff? I don't know. A garage sale sounds like a pretty good plan to me.