And where we are now

Tonight, J. took me to a Valentine's Day dinner at a sort of fancy comfort-food place. I wore my new black dress, chocolate brown tights and black suede boots. Girl, I looked hot. Or as hot as I get, anyway. Had beet salad, steak, a nice cabernet. Someone has earned some serious points. I'm just saying.

A year ago, we would have spent the entire meal pining anxiously for Isaac. Would he be okay? Yes, he always is. Would everything be all right?

But we are getting--getting, mind you--to a place of acceptance. What I hoped we would achieve when I bought Susan Senator's book over a year ago. (Hi Susan. I linked to you again because I wanted you to know that your book was the first one that gave me any hope, and it occurred to me that last night's post was kind of a flashback--like reading the first twenty pages of your book, not knowing how it all turns out. Although still, we're at the very beginning.)

So, since I gave this post such a portentous title, I now feel obligated to deliver the goods. Where are we? Oh wow. So many new places. Here's a flavor: Beata, Isaac's nanny, texted me this intriguing anecdote a little earlier this evening:

[Scene: Safeway. Beata and Isaac are picking up a few groceries.]
Beata: Isaac, do you want something to eat?
Isaac: How about some pizza and wine?

Don't call Child Protective Services on me. I swear I don't know where it came from (the wine part, anyway. He's a fiend for pizza). And that--spontaneity, deviation from the rote, knowing he's funny and milking it for all it's worth? That makes me very, very happy.

Something's shifted. Part of it is language, yes. But there's more confidence too. And more openness to being with people. I can see he wants it, but it also tires him, and he needs to regroup. But it's lovely to see.

[Photo: Overtired sleeping boy, fresh from his first haircut in months].

Comments

[Niksmom]

And where you are is a good place to be today. Enjoy it and know that there is more to come. :-)

[kristen]

Oh, I love this!!! Pizza and wine, indeed!

[kyra]

so wonderful to hear! pizza and wine. what a riot but you know? it's a perfect combination!

i know just what you mean, that 'shifting' feeling. it's palpable and so exciting!